A Careful Blend
by Forbiddensoul562
Summary: I couldn't help considering the notion that perhaps this was all merely meant to be just an elaborately designed kidnapping. But more and more that seemed unlikely. For in the off chance that this was meant to be a kidnapping then, for a captor, Mello's actions towards me were proving quite strange indeed. MelloxNear.


A Careful Blend

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters used in this story. I also do not own the image the cover image used for this fic, as well. All credit for that goes to the artist.

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Title: A Careful Blend

 _'I'm only staying the weekend.'_ That's what I had originally said for that was all I had intended. One weekend was all I had told Rester, for at the time that had seemed more than adequate amount of time necessary to complete the investigation Mello had requested my assistance on.

That was three weeks ago, now.

The case itself had been simple enough, and hardly the sort of matter I would have taken on if it had been anyone other than Mello requesting it of me. Someone within the Mafia order Mello worked with had been slowly transferring out their funds; not enough to be noticeable to anyone who didn't keep a naturally vigilant eye over the exchange of money. It became my job to decisively determine who the culprit was. It was so simple as to be utterly mundane, a task that Mello could have easily done himself. However, due to his own involvement in their organization, such maneuvering would have made him suspicious.

So the job fell onto me. At the time it had hardly fazed me how even when I was working as the world's justice system, still I was dragged down into the dank workings of the underground. I often found myself wondering if the previous L had had to deal with these same sorts of conflictions… Somehow I doubted it.

Regardless of the moral gray area, though, I executed the job quickly, and without mistakes.

But once the job was done… neither Mello nor myself seemed to dare bring up the looming topic of when I should return to the former SPK building. Rather it all went entirely unsaid. As though I had been meant to stay here with him from the very beginning…

The notion made me consider whether or not this was all meant to be just an elaborately designed kidnapping. But even that seemed unlikely. In the off chance that this _was_ meant to be a kidnapping, then Mello's actions towards me were quite strange for a captor.

From where I lay on my stomach on the mattress steadily slipping between states of consciousness and dreamless sleep, my being felt as though it had become entirely enveloped within the cushion beneath me, yet still I could push my face further into the pillow. The calming aroma of eucalyptus and chocolate overtook my senses, lulling me into a state that could only be described as bliss.

But seemingly only a moment later the trance like state began to be pulled away from me as I became aware of a new sensation. There was now the feeling of fingers tenderly beginning to push up the back of my shirt, moving it upwards to allow the chilled air to gaze across my skin. The chill didn't last long as in the next moment it was replaced with warm air, a breath, caressing against the sensitive same sensitive skin. Lips touched my flesh, kissing tenderly up each vertebrae of my spine.

"Mello." I said in a heavy exhale, keeping my eyes closed, relishing in him suddenly taking over nearly all of my senses through just a few subtle motions. "Do you have absolutely no consideration for those who didn't sleep as long as you the night before?"

"Absolutely none at all." I felt him smirk against my skin, though all I seemed able to focus on was the rhythmic exhales of warm air from his nose which raised goose bumps on my flesh and sent waves of shivers through my body. "Why can't you sleep, anyway? Don't tell me I keep you up at night?"

"Don't flatter yourself." Again I released an exhale, letting myself relish the feeling of his breath and lips on me for a moment longer before allowing us to continue this habitual routine that would in the ceasing of these adoring actions. "You do realize that just because you need to be awake this early does not mean you must subject me to the same suffering, right?"

"On the contrary, that's exactly what it means." He stated, placing just a few more kisses on my spine before drawing back up, exactly as I figured he would. I felt myself unconsciously sigh, as though immediately missing the sensation.

Despite my eyes remaining closed though I could feel his weight remain on top of me and practically see the persisting smirk painted across his lips till it came to gently dot every line of his face, and every subtle nuance of how he held his body. Even with my eyes closed I knew that somehow, even this early in the morning, he had found a way to be nothing short of a work of art.

"You've got work to do." He stated.

My eyes slid open onto the darkened bedroom, protected from the intrusive morning sunlight by thick curtains over the windows. Looking back to him I sent the best halfhearted glare I could manage, "My cases can wait." I retorted.

This time I was met with silence.

Still I could practically hear the words trapped in his mind as though he'd had any less willpower and had released them. How badly I could hear him wanting to tell me that such a dismissive mentality was hardly fitting of L. But such a comment meant admitting I was now L. It meant that I had won, and yet again he had lost. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't that simple, but I felt a though neither of us wanted to get into a debate on semantics this early in the morning. Besides, I could already hear the comment through his silence, and in a way I felt things were better that way.

"Fine." I sighed, "You're childishly persistent."

The huff he exhaled held some sense of victory to it, but he finally climbed off me without another word, leaving me alone in the bed once more. _His_ bed, to be precise.

As the door to the connected bathroom closed, so too did my eyes as the muddled sound of running water reached my ears through the walls. Lying there I had to wonder… If I just stayed in that spot, was there any chance that I'd be forgotten by the cruelty of passing time? Would I be allowed to forever be left enwrapped in everything that is Mello?

Suddenly that didn't seem to be such a terrible demise. Stockholm Syndrome was proving to be quite the ruthless of killers...

 _'If I just continue laying here it's just going to make the experience dull, with time.'_ Not to mention the persistent sense of boredom that would certainly grow within me. That never led to anything good…. So finally I pushed myself up from the comfortable spot in bed and repositioned my shirt in its proper place, then heading from the bedroom out into the stilled apartment that was such a heavy reflection of who Mello was; who he'd _always_ been.

Sparse in physical belongings demonstrating his loose ties with material objects, yet for what he did have was a mess of misplaced items forgotten in their new home. Chaotic genius. Something I didn't understand, yet looking at it always made me want to try. The only objects of my own within the space were a few select toys and a laptop I'd brought with me in order to continue work. Yet my own belongings hardly seemed to have any effect against his storm.

Rather than blending our possessions remained separated, like oil and water. Sure, water was the life-giving essence to the world, but oil provided the base for all the true flavors of the world. Who was who in that metaphor? Was that narcissistic of me? Probably.

Standing alone there within the open room with only the faint sound of the water running in the other room to break the silence I couldn't help feeling just a bit out of place. As though maybe I didn't actually belong here anymore, considering my usefulness had concluded a long time ago.

 _'What does that make me, now?_ ' I wondered. _'Does that make me anything other than a guest in his home, rather than the teammate or a co-worker I was before?'_ Maybe so. If that was indeed the case, then perhaps I'd been ungrateful so far, due to my own lack of recognition for the scenario. ' _Maybe that means I should do something for him.'_ After all, that was what guests did in order to show they were thankful to their hosts, right? They engaged in selfless, generous acts of either monetary means, or physical actions?

So what should I do?

What _could_ I do seemed like the more appropriate question…

 _'Perhaps I could make breakfast.'_ I considered as I gazed around the room and finally over to the kitchen and realizing in that moment how, for being the most important meal of the day, it consistently seemed to be the one most forgotten. That is, supposing you didn't find chocolate to be suitable sustenance. Not that I necessarily had any room to judge one way or the other…

It seemed fitting, given the time, and also something that I could manage. After all, how hard could preparing a meal _really_ be?

-:-

"What the hell are you doing?"

 _'Dammit…'_ Apparently such tasks could be _incredibly_ difficult.

Consumed by the situation I'd created before me I'd lost track of listening to the sound of the water from the shower and thus hadn't heard it finally be turned off as a means to alert me to my limited time frame to salvage the awful situation at hand. "Nothing." I said almost too quietly and unable to lift my eyes from the blackening form of eggs at the bottom of the pan.

It'd seemed so simple in theory. But one too many second guessing questions to myself and the entire thing had gone up in smoke. Literally.

"What the…" I saw Mello enter into the kitchen out of the corner of my eye, though he was halted immediately. "Are you burning my food?!" He sighed heavily in exasperation, running a hand through damp golden locks, "Dammit, if you wanted something to eat couldn't you have at least waited until I was done showering instead of wasting what little I've got?"

My grip tightened on the spatula still in my hand, "That wasn't _quite_ my intention." I stated, "I'll pay you for what I burned." … And perhaps a bit extra to make up for the burden of the rest of my stay here, as well.

There was a moment of silence from Mello before I heard him exhale, "No, it's fine."

"You know, if you don't actually eat something other than chocolate you'll end up malnourished." I stated, the words falling out of me in a desperate need to fill the space between us with anything other than my embarrassment.

He chuckled, the previously annoyed tone sliding away from him, "Don't say things like that. You'll start sounding like Roger used to." With each word he said he moved further into the room.

Immediately Mello seemed to take command of the entire space in ways I could only marvel at. I felt as though I had stepped into a universe entirely of his own creation; one under his total control to do with as he pleased.

He took the ruined pan from me, abandoning it in the sink then grabbing a new one from one of the lower cupboards, placing it on the stove where the previous one had been. I had just enough time to look over my shoulder towards him before he was suddenly next to me, hovering like a shadow over my form. As he began to work it was as though I was no longer even there.

He dropped a bit of butter into the heating black surface. His lips appeared at my ear, "You need to use butter or oil before you start, or the whole thing is going to just stick to the pan and it'll all burn." He murmured quietly to me. "Once it's coated, _then_ you crack the eggs in." As he narrated, he went through the motions, cracking the only two remaining eggs into the skillet, releasing an immediate sizzle.

His hands then came to cover my own, warm and guiding rather than imposing as I would have normally expected from him. "Now you have to let it sit. If you mess with them too early, or too much you'll break the yoke and ruin it. Be patient." He remained over me, his damp hair grazing my skin lightly

I told myself to listen to what he was saying, but with him standing so close to me suddenly it was not the process that I found myself focused on. Rather, I found myself focused on the feeling of his damp hair grazing my skin lightly, on his breath being expelled onto my neck which extracted familiar goose bumps to the surface of my flesh, followed by the sensation of his lips lightly brushing across my neck, so slight as to make me wonder if I'd even felt it at all.

"Surprising that you'd actually have such levels of patience." I exhaled, as though to compose my mind, or perhaps to fill the air again.

I felt his lips pull upwards against me, "I have a lot of talents you don't know about." His voice was a low and sultry fire that ravaged my stoicism and set my body aflame.

I shouldn't have shivered against him, but I did.

"There. It's done." And just like that the moment was ruined.

He moved away from me as though nothing had happened, taking the prepared eggs and sliding them onto a plate. "It's not that hard." He stated and again I could hear the tinge of superiority doting his words. For now, I was willing to let him to relish in it.

"Who knew you were actually so domestic." I stated with my own small smirk.

He scoffed, handing the plate over to me. "Shut up. One of us has to keep us both alive." What a strange thing for him to say… As though in his mind I was actually a permanent member of the house, rather than a temporary guest. I wondered if that was he thought, or if I was rather just looking for cues within his words that may not actually be there.

I could do nothing but stand there as though lost in my surroundings as he proceeded to move out of the kitchen to retrieve his jacket from wherever he'd discarded it the night before. "Well now that you've made me late, I have to go."

"But-."

"Try not to burn the place down. If you do I swear I'll make you buy the next place." He reappeared in the kitchen just long enough to open the fridge and retrieve a bar of chocolate from inside before exiting once more, this time leaving the apartment with one final slam of the front door.

"But I was making this for you." I whispered to the silence, letting my gaze moved down to the contents on the plate. _'How sudden…'_ I thought to myself, _'I wonder what would become of us if Mello took the time to actually pause and listen once in a while, instead of trying to dominate everything.'_ Yet somehow it all still seemed so fitting for Mello to ruin my plans. For as long as I'd known him he'd always possessed such an uncanny ability to know just how to tear down anything I'd planned. Then again, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised.

 _'How cruel history is to constantly repeat itself with such unoriginality.'_ I thought, putting the plate down on the counter to deal with later. Why must he always make things so complicated for me?

Still, his reaction made me wonder if perhaps there was merely a preset miscommunication between us. Could it be possible that for us these otherwise social cues and conventions were lost amidst our own dynamic? Maybe the same conventions for the rest of the world just didn't register between us. Perhaps we understood everything, or even just each other, much different than normal. If that was true, then where exactly was I expected to go from here?

Letting that thought be the conclusion to my contemplations I moved back into the other room and to the laptop that rested on the low coffee table near the center of the space in order to begin my own work. "Good morning Commander Rester." I greeted, establishing a line of communication between my network and his while situating my headset over my ears.

"Morning, sir." He responded, even the few words carrying just a bit of uncertainty with them.

"Shall we get to work?" I stated, pushing the subtle tone of his voice away from the objectivity required of us. I knew before he could respond what was on his mind.

"Near, sir…?"

I sighed, clearly he wasn't going to let this go until I provided some sort of definite answer. "Everything's fine, Rester. The case that I've been helping with here has proven to be more difficult than we'd previously imagined." When had I decided that lying on Mello's behalf was the best course of action? Maybe around the time that I rationed that lying on _my_ behalf would be the simplest way of keeping whatever _this_ was between Mello and I going for just a bit longer.

I was disillusioned if I believed I could establish any sort of permanence to our situation. And yet… for once in my life I wanted nothing more than to be selfish with I'd been so graciously given.

"It's been three weeks, though." Rester said, clearly worried now.

"It has indeed. But you speak to me every day and our work continues, so what's the worst that could realistically be happening?"

He was quiet for a moment, "I suppose, but-"

"Commander Rester." I interrupted. "Everything is fine. If it wasn't I assure you, you would be the first one to know. Now if we could begin the work for the day." I posed, looking around the room at all of Mello's belongings and feeling again as though I was entirely out of place here. It was a wonder that I was even able to get any work done at all without… "Actually… Commander Rester, perhaps there _is_ something that you could do that would both help me, and calm your worry over the current situation."

-:-

I could feel the electricity being excitedly discharged off the metal tracks before anything conductible had even been placed on them. It was the feeling of latent power, just waiting for my command. I slowly lowered the individual train down towards the track, watching the way that the gears around the wheels began to spin the closer it got to the track, until finally the two pieces were connected together and it took off across the circular track surrounding me.

The sound of the lock of the front door being turned back tore my attention away from the track, watching out of my peripherals as the door was pushed open.

 _'Three… two…'_

"What the hell?!" Quicker than I'd thought. Not too surprising, honestly.

I looked up from where my sights had been focused, peering across the span of the living room that was now covered by various decks of cards, boxes of legos, and dozens of action figures to Mello who stood, shocked, in the doorway. "Welcome back."

He glared at me until I thought that, if we had any less history together than we did, that he may actually attack me. Thank God I'd been unconsciously developing _that_ protection. "What the shit, Near! Where did all of this come from?" There was something almost panicked laced within his words.

"I didn't use your money to buy these, if that's what you're worried about. I know you're trying to save whatever salary you actually get for when I burn the house down." I jibed. "I had Rester deliver these to me earlier today. They help me think." It was an unnecessary statement, but again I was only filling the air of silence. Nerves, perhaps. Then again… looking over the space now made me realized that somewhere along the way I had created quite the mess within his chaotic disorder.

Mello sighed and I could see the withheld agitation within his features. Something about it, though… it didn't seem to be coming from what I'd done. If it had, he could just kick some of my figures like he used to do as a child and that would be the end of it. No, instead he crossed the space, careful not to step on any of the hazardous legos lying about before sinking down onto the couch with a defeated exhale.

Surveying over the room now with Mello positioned so counter within it suddenly made the toys seem a bit jarring even to me. This was, after all, his apartment, not mine. Maybe I'd gone a bit too far.

"I apologize, Mello. I suppose I went a bit far with my things."

He reached into his pocket, fishing out a chocolate bar and snapping off a piece. "No, it's… fine."

 _'He's annoyed… but distracted by something other than this.'_ I thought, the confusion beginning to show across my own features as I got up from my spot and crossed the space, sitting next to him, all the while those careful blue orbs watching me try to read into him. "Long day?" I finally concluded, reaching carefully out and beginning to twist a lock of his hair in my finger as though it would calm him the way it normally did for me.

"That's an understatement. The guy who was embezzling the money from us escaped."

I sent him a confused look. "Knowing the general tactics of the Mafia, I hadn't thought he'd be kept alive this long once it was determined that he was the one taking the money."

Mello shrugged, flicking my hand away from him as if out of principle rather than because it bothered him. "Killing him wouldn't get the money back. It's an easy solution but sometimes it's better to send a message to others by making them pay through grunt work; especially when the person is really good at whatever it is they do for the organization. It's slavery."

Immediately I had to wonder, _'Is that why you're still with them despite what you did?'_

Now wasn't the time for those sorts of questions. I could practically hear through the spaces of his words that for some reason it was him who was being blamed, and thus who was being tasked with finding the embezzler. Either way it put Mello in an obviously rough place. "We'll figure it out. Everybody leaves some sort of trace. This is the sort of thing we were trained to do."

The look he sent me said he wasn't so easily convinced. "As though you have any room to talk. You'd make a lousy hunting dog."

I shrugged, "You misunderstand. That's _your_ role, here. Or rather I'm the one who holds the leash, evaluates the circumstance, and who points you in the right direction of the prey."

He huffed, "Shut up. I'm not in the mood to get into this with you tonight."

"Sorry."

"Whatever." He pushed my hand away again, but this time to stand up, though turning to offer his hand out to me. "Come on. I've had enough for now. I'm not dealing with this tonight." I nodded, letting him pull me up, "But tomorrow you're cleaning this shit up. Just because you need all these extraneous things doesn't mean you get to litter my house with it." Even as he spoke while leading us to the bedroom something in his voice told me that he'd complain, but wouldn't ever really make me clean it.

As though this was his way of outwardly protesting, yet accepting that the disorder of our lives were blending together.

Once in the room he proceeded to pull off his shirt, immediately flopping down on his back on the mattress. I could only watch from the open doorway as the weight of the entire world seemed to dissipate off his shoulders. His chest expanded up and down, the dull lighting from the single light source on the ceiling cast the lines of his muscle in harsh contrast.

His body was carefully chiseled marble, each subtle divot and every scar skillfully carved into stone to illustrate a representation of total perfection. As though carved by the divines… carved for only my eyes to behold. Yes, for even just this single transient moment I wanted nothing more than to be selfish.

I flicked off the light, letting the room be consumed in darkness again as I blindly made my way back to the bed. "We'll deal with it tomorrow." I told him.

It wasn't necessarily in my programming to push things off when they could be handled immediately. So I could only assume that Mello was influencing me, clouding my judgments and my rationale like the most deadly of drugs. Yet it was one I freely and consciously accepted every time his arms circled around me. As they expertly encircled me now through the darkness I felt the familiar sensation of his drug shoot through my veins.

"That doesn't sound very responsible of you." He said.

"It's your job and probably life on the line with this; if you want to put it off, then by all means."

"Don't pretend like you would actually let anything happen to me." He meant it to be more of a goad than anything, I could tell. Just another banter, and one I was willing to engage with. And yet… it was never quite that simple, either.

"Well, it is my job to stop crime regardless of whether it manifests as impulsive sociopathic homicides from an individual on a power trip, or simple premeditated murder. That being said, don't be so conceited." The more I spoke the more my eyes began to adjust to the darkness, becoming able to make out the lines of his face in the shadows, and the way his hair haloed his face.

"You're freezing, you know." He said, his tone developing a familiar drowsy undertone to it as he pulled up the covers and sealing them tightly around both of our bodies; effectively keeping us together so as to allow the heat of his body to seep into my chilled bones.

"I know." Though… only God would ever know if it was because of my own naturally poor blood circulation or because I had turned the fan on just a bit higher just to get him to hold me even marginally closer.

The silence persisted between us, and more the sound of his breathing became like a rhythmic lullaby that evened out as he fell into a calm slumber. Yet still I lay awake, taking in all the minute details of his face and body that were revealed only when he was asleep and couldn't keep such a tenacious grip over his tough façade.

Truthfully I still couldn't be sure why I was being kept here, or why Mello continued to freely put up with me, let alone hold me this close at night or why he went out of his way to kiss me _only_ in the moments when I couldn't directly look at him. But I wasn't doing anything to push him away either, and somehow I felt a strange sense of comfort from being held by him, as though it was these moments that were the true dream I would have during the night.

And so I let myself lie awake, warmed by his body, tracing the lines of his face, letting his scent filter into my nose and slowly consume my every sense. If this _was_ the true dream that I would experience tonight, then I didn't want to miss even a single moment of it. A decision which I knew I would regret when Mello woke me up the next morning.

I could only imagine what he would say if he ever came to learn that he was, indeed, the reason why I could never sleep at night…

Yet still that seemed to be the smallest of prices to pay in exchange for what I was gaining: the promise of a continuation of our own fragmented domesticity for but one day longer.

 _The End_

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A/N: I know, I know, this was a senseless, plotless one-shot that really didn't establish anything, really. But as I explained in the teaser post on Tumblr, this one-shot was made for my beta, Mar, for his birthday! For that he wanted something simple and fluffy, and covering a few choice themes that were derived from a post that I provided the link for on the post. So anyway, despite that I hope you enjoyed this! I had a lot of issues actually planning and writing it, but once I got into it I found that I've actually really missed writing fluff. Looks like I may need to start implementing it more into my other stories! Anyway, please let me know any thoughts you may have. I appreciate anything you have to say!

Please review  
 _-Forbiddensoul562_


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